


Awfully Awkward

by GoldenCarriagesRequiem



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: M/M, Souda Kazuichi casually thinking about parental abuse, Souda Kazuichi doing things that are problematic, Souda Kazuichi pretending to be mute, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27944393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenCarriagesRequiem/pseuds/GoldenCarriagesRequiem
Summary: Souda's disguise is ready, but that's probably the only thing about him that is when he goes out with the intention to follow Tanaka and Sonia around during summer break. He especially really didn't expect to join in, but who was he to refuse? This was a chance, after all. He just had to keep his mouth shut.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Awfully Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> Now, this is kind of old. I wrote this one back in 2018. I haven't read it again, but in my memories, I'm fond of it. I figured that, maybe, someone might like it.

# Awfully Awkward

***

It was the first day of summer break and Souda was already giving his dad reasons to get angry. It was well worth the risk, he repeated to himself inside his head as he silently crept his way to the front door, hoping to be able to leave unnoticed. This was for the greater good, he thought, and while he felt like a hero with his assertion, if someone had asked what he meant by that, he’d stutter and yell at them to shut up; that it would make sense once it was done.

Placing one hand on the doorknob, he turned it around slowly, his face scrunched up, and he pulled with a silent prayer. The door creaked as it opened.

“Kazuichi!”

His father’s voice came out of the workshop as he loudly tinkered with something. As it turned out, the universe still hated him. Normally by now, he would have run off to his room real quick, pretend that the noise had been the wind, and he’d try again in ten more minutes. He couldn’t really afford to be late this time, though. This was life or death for him. He let his shoulders drop. They had like ten cans of WD-40 and like six different types of oil that could have prevented this.

Ok, so the plan had one flaw. Big deal.

“Kazuichi, are you going out?”

The boy huffed, turning around and steeling himself to quickly get over with whatever was up and then run away before his dad thought of asking for an explanation.

“Yes, Dad.”

“Wait there, I need you to run an errand for me.”

“I’m kind of in a hurry?”

His old man crossed the doorway to entrance, carrying a piece of paper in his hands. Alright. So be it then, he thought, and cowered some more. When his father lifted his gaze from what looked like a bill, he stopped to stare at his son. Then, he smirked.

“You finally getting some common sense back, huh?”

That smug he was being subjected to would soon wind up making Kazuichi’s shoulders sore with how much he was trying not to be defensive and rattle off his own plan. This assumption was helping him. Why was he mad?

It had to be how out of his element he felt. He had dug up some of his old clothes that hadn't yet been purged during his transition from middle school to high school: black sweatpants, a black jersey, a black baseball cap and a grey duffel bag, as well as his old black rectangular glasses. His contacts were in their case, up in his room, and now his eyes matched his clothes. He couldn’t even stand to look at himself in the mirror like this. Everything about him now screamed Plain Old Souda with the sole exception of his hair. Blond was better than black at least, and he could put pink back on it once he had completed his mission. His father was giving him comparatively less shit for it.

He didn’t retort. He grumbled a little bit, yes, but he wasn’t sure his old man would tolerate him talking back. In a second, he was out of the door and heading to the station with an electricity bill and some money in his pockets. Those would have to wait until he made his way back. He'd be late for the main event otherwise.

Once inside the station and having already used his ticket, he took a deep breath, got on a wagon, and curled up on one of the seats. He stared at the floor, trying not to think about his motion sickness. Faceless grey people watched him retreat further in his spot, like shy grass, but their eyes didn’t linger half the time they usually did.

Still, the train was moving too much. He changed cars when his face got pale enough that people begun to act concerned. Three wagons further on, he called bingo. Tanaka stood out, with his gray hairs, and his bandages on one arm, and all the leather covering up his other arm, even though short sleeves were supposed to, you know, allow skin to breathe, as you would want it to in late spring. As ridiculous as all of that, and the bag hanging from his hip and thigh, were, these weird choices saved him the trouble of trying to find him.

The train stopped on their destination. He shambled after the taller boy without even taking a second to recover. Kazuichi may have still been trying to keep his throat from acting up and throwing his half-digested breakfast on the pavement, but he wasn’t allowing himself to get distracted. He was on the lookout for someone else. Someone who, in the end, walked past him without realising who he was, leaving behind the sweet smell of her perfume as she approached Tanaka. Lady Sonia, with a radiant smile, said hello to him.

He swallowed down some bile and a bit of self-respect.

This was his reason for being here, in this garb. Souda had heard them talk a few days before. It had been a matter of pure coincidence that he had entered the classroom at the time he had, with Nidai obscuring his presence, because he had a feeling that Lady Sonia would have probably gone silent had she realized Souda was listening. Really strange how that was the case so often. Maybe he was too loud in his entrances. He had made a U-turn once he heard about today, once he had the time and the place, and gave it a thunk for a while. About what this could be about. About what could happen.

He came up with some scenarios he didn’t like, and he had this brilliant idea to follow them around, just to make sure Tanaka didn’t pull any moves on Sonia at the expense of his dignity, if necessary. He was sure she’d appreciate the concerns.

When they went out of the station, Souda followed them close enough that he wouldn’t risk losing them by mistake, and far enough that he wouldn’t raise any suspicion. His only regret was that this meant he couldn’t hear their conversation. The way they both looked at ease with each other made his feet itch to close the gap and intervene.

They approached a café. When Souda was already panicking, they turned to the other side of the street and went inside a pet shop. Kazuichi let out a sigh of relief, and then he ran his hand down his face. This was still too early to tell. And now he had to go inside a small shop where they might run into each other, if he wasn't careful.

He stepped in, the little bell ringed, he avoided eye contact with the clerk, and went to hide in a corner, not at all interested in whatever animal was in front of him that he was pretending to be looking at.

The distance he could put between him and the other two wasn’t much, and he could almost hear bits of their conversation. He just couldn't pay attention to it because an employee was watching him with beady eyes. Was it just his imagination? He wasn’t doing anything bad. Nobody would approach him and loudly shout that he had to leave the shop, at least he didn’t think anyone would. People didn’t usually go around drawing that sort of attention and bad publicity, right?

He glanced at the man who seemed to be following him, who turned out to be meekly trying to get to the parakeets that Souda was blocking. He stepped a little to the side. Nobody else seemed to be paying attention to him. With a sigh, he turned in the direction he had last seen Lady Sonia,

She wasn’t there anymore. Before he could look around, an employee had begun giving him that helpful service smile, probably thinking he was looking for someone to ask questions to. He turned his back to her, and went back to staring at the lizards in front of him.

Now what? He knew for sure that if Lady Sonia and Tanaka were close enough to hear his voice, he’d be busted. For all the paraphernalia and makeup that he wasn’t wearing, his face was still the same, and if he also sounded the same, then that was the end of the disguise. He didn’t think he was doing anything _wrong_ , but he knew he’d have to apologize, if he got caught.

“How interesting to see such a presence here. You appear to be in quite a conundrum...”

Kazuichi jumped like a cat being caught on the kitchen counter, his vocal cords too tense to produce any sort of sound, but he still brought his hands to cover his mouth anyway. Tanaka had somehow materialized to his left, giving him a haughty look, then a worried one, scrutinizing Souda. Act natural. Say you’re just passing by, even though your clothes say otherwise. Tell him you don’t know this Souda person, even though he hasn't even mentioned him. Wait, no, he couldn’t do that. He’d already gone through the voice thought process. What about his teeth? There was no way he could open his mouth and get away with it. He turned his gaze to the floor, still trying to look at Tanaka in the face to at least shrug or give him a resentful look, yet unable to do so for more than half a second.

“Are you alright?”

Souda bit his lip, and then he stopped. Teeth. He couldn’t t do that.

“Could it be you cannot speak?”

His gaze flew up to Tanaka's eyes. There was no sign of recognition in them. Knowing a perfect excuse when he was given one, Souda nodded enthusiastically.

“I see. Are you interested in the lizards?”

He had to do a double take. Right, he had been using them as an excuse to stay on this side of the store, he thought, nodding to himself, which Tanaka took as an answer to his question due to his lacking the knowledge and the context of the situation had spoken his way into.

“They are fine companions despite how demanding tending for them might result to be. Do you have any experience with animals?”

He wanted to tell him to leave. No talking. Souda shook his head.

“I would not recommend them in that case. If you are fond of reptiles, a turtle is a better choice."

This was not a conversation Kazuichi was expecting to have. Where was Lady Sonia again? He hadn't seen her in a while, but at least she wasn't with Tanaka. Maybe if he could keep this guy here a little longer, or convince him to stay with him and ditch her... Did he really have the patience to put up with this dude, though? He doubted it. One dizzying speech and he'd be out.

"Is there something you wish to say?” He asked after noticing Souda restlessly wringing his fingers. This whole plan had been a terrible idea, and he wanted to leave. Say ‘thank you’ and leave, but he wasn’t supposed to speak at all. To make matters worse, he wasn’t a very convincing mute; he didn’t have the slightest notion of sign language, and his disguise could be busted at any moment by anyone who did.

Tanaka nodded back at him, and he took a notebook and a pen out of the bag attached to his thigh. Both things had a cutesy design, unlike everything else the taller boy carried visibly on his person, but this was a quirk everyone in class had grown accustomed to after having spent a whole school year seeing his animal themed stationary nearly every day. Souda looked at the little cat on the cap of the gel pen and considered his options for a second. Rejecting the offer would have probably made him more suspicious (of what exactly, he didn't know), so he settled for trying to answer the inquiry in a way that sounded nothing like Souda Kazuichi, but more like a nice enough stranger that didn’t want to stand out too much. He could do that. He could be uninteresting to keep himself out of trouble well enough, if he recalled the sentences correctly.

_I’m not really looking into buying a pet right now, but thank you. I’ll keep that in mind._

Tanaka flinched visibly, his sight dropping to the floor almost immediately. His recovery was about as speedy to happen as his disappointment.

“I see. It was not my intention to bother you.”

He offered the notebook and pen back to Tanaka, and fought the urge to bite down on his lips once more when he didn't immediately take them, instead preferring to focus on Souda’s rough hands holding the stationery. Then on his face. Souda gulped, wondering what else could possibly be expected of him, on the verge of vividly imagining the worst-case scenarios. A tiny voice in his head repeatedly said “no” at each one of them.

“Before we part ways, there is something I require your input in.” More gulping. He wasn't used to be intently stared at by his classmate, quite the contrary, Tanaka often looked away from where Souda stood, chin held high, his scarf closely wrapped around his face. He didn’t usually pull down on it, like he did now, nor did he lean in, like he had a secret to tell. “I do not believe we have met somewhere before, have we?”

Souda’s hand shook, and as the notebook fell to the floor, he crouched to pick it up. This was it. He remained there, wondering what face to make when he stood up, trying to collect himself and cursing his nervous nature. His idiotic overreactions. His inability to keep his face from showing too much.

"Tanaka-san, the clerk is almost done." Sonia walked up to them with peppy steps. Souda looked up, and he could immediately tell that something good had just happened to her. She was wearing a smile like when he had first met her, a friendly greeting with curious eyes, and an undercurrent of muted enthusiasm, with just a little bit of worry behind her composed demeanour. “Oh. Is he… How are you? Is everything fine?”

As if healed by her concern, he nodded in response, standing up. The she looked at Tanaka with something slightly different glinting in her eye. Complicity. There was something Souda probably didn’t know, which wasn’t unusual. He had learned to live with it, as he could never really figure out what those things were unless they were clearly spelled out for him.

"Human speech eludes this one. It appears to have been banished from his tongue, yet his ears have still its understanding."

That sort of speech was another one of those things with a tendency to elude Souda. After all the time he'd spent in the same classroom as Tanaka, he still had trouble with it. Sometimes, like now, he got it; some other times he got the first half, but he had spent so much of his attention on that, that he failed to listen to the end of the sentence. There were also times in which Tanaka's choice of words was so obscure, or his grammar so antiquated, that Souda couldn't help but feel he had been sneakily insulted. Arguments usually happened as a result of that one.

He came back to the present when Lady Sonia signed something at him with her hands. Not knowing what to do, and chastising himself for not having run away before he got caught in his lie, he began to panic once more.

"You're not familiar with signing?" She asked, slightly confused.

Looks. He was getting looks. The entrance to the shop seemed far away, but he knew it was just a few steps from where they stood. If only he could jump over them and run.

"We may do wrong to assume his to be a long-time affliction. His inner turmoil is evident, and his preparedness, barely there. I have handed him some artefacts, since he didn't bring his own."

Had he just been insulted there? That had to be an insult. A nicer way of saying "bring your own stuff next time." But he could run with this one as an excuse. With a little sigh, he nodded again.

"I see. I'm terribly sorry in that case. By the way, Tanaka-san? Everything is almost ready, but…” She trailed off like she had a few regrets. Tanaka looked at all the purchased items waiting for them on the counter.

“That’s more than I anticipated.”

“I couldn’t decide between play-sets.” Seeing as Souda was completely out of the loop, and being the angel that she was, she made an effort to include him in the conversation. "I came here with Tanaka-san to buy a guinea pig. He's mostly here to help me pick one and then carry everything home."

A clerk called for Sonia to make her payment. She left the two of them with a quick apology. Tanaka’s troubled mood showed in the deep breath he took and the shakiness with which it left his lungs. Souda wrote, trying to make it look nonchalant, or at least hoping Tanaka was dense enough not to read much into it.

_So you're an errand boy for Sonia-san, huh?_

Tanaka took a step back, straightening his back. He stayed silent for a second, his shoulders straight, an amused smile slowly creeping into his face.

"I see. Tell me, Dark One. Write down your name if you have one, or if it's not to be expressed, give me a mortal one that can do it justice."

A name. Souda couldn't use his name. There had to be one that he wouldn’t forget later if this went for longer.

_Satou Kazuki._

He picked kanji that was easy to remember. It sounded common, but that was kind of the point.

"Very well! Satou, if you wouldn't mind, and if time isn't pressing for you, I'd like to request your assistance."

Ok, he got that much, but Tanaka kept talking after that, and he was left wondering just what was going on. He didn't even get half of these long-winded explanations in this monologue. Raising his hand, he made it clear he wanted the animal breeder to stop for a second, and then he wrote in the borrowed notebook:

_In simple Japanese please?_

"You are unfamiliar with mortal language, I see. Allow me to put it on terms more fitting for the indifferent. What the She-Cat has picked is hard for just two people to carry, even if her home is nearby. Do you know of any alternatives that could help?”

And he had an idea, one that was making him extremely happy just thinking about it.

_If it’s not far, I could help._

Tanaka gave off one of his trademark smirks.

“Excellent! I cannot promise you payment, but if her gratitude isn't enough for you, I'm sure we can arrange something in exchange for your assistance," he said as he walked up to the counter where there was a cage, several bags of food, lint, toys, cleaning products.

This was an opportunity. He'd get to see where Sonia lived, and he could listen in to make sure there was nothing more planned for later that sounded like a possible date. He stretched out one of his arms, and Tanaka handed him shopping bags that were filled to the brim with who knew what. They were heavy, but they still looked lighter than the cage full of food that Tanaka was carrying. Sonia soon joined them, carrying some of the lighter stuff on one arm, and the guinea pig on the other. The look of gratitude on her face was everything in the world right then.

"I'm sorry for the trouble… ummm…"

His hands were too full to reply.

"‘Satou Kazuki’ is how he introduced himself."

"Nice to meet you, Satou-san. I'm Sonia Nevermind."

Her house wasn't too far away, but even with the short distance, his arms had begun to feel sore. It was a fairly humble place in a very traditional neighbourhood, and inside there was none of the western furniture he had expected, at least not in the living room. They placed her new things on the floor. Souda had begun to wonder if he'd have to leave immediately when Sonia offered a cup of tea.

It was strange to feel welcomed like this. He stayed, and helped with the unpacking. Then they set up a few things, moved a sofa to make more space. Tanaka and Sonia chatted idly, and they waited patiently for Souda to finish writing when he wanted to add something to the conversation.

Being Satou Kazuki was fun, once he got in the groove of things. But this couldn’t last more than a few moments. It was almost lunchtime by the time it dawned on him he’d have to give up on this fabricated reality soon. They were done. Both boys would have to leave. And his alter ego would never return.

Still, it was hard not to be happy. Souda resisted the urge to smile like an idiot, not only because he had spent over a full hour in company of Lady Sonia, but because Tanaka was out of the house along with him, and all suspicions were eased. He had been imagining things. They were nothing. This hadn't been a date, it wouldn't turn into a date, and it was such a relief to know this.

Around the next corner, he decided it was time to part ways. He extended to Tanaka his notebook and pen, and the taller teen skimmed through the pages, eventually stopping at one. He gave it back to Souda and signalled at a line he had written a while ago, in the store. He didn’t get it. Was there something important about this? It read a little demeaning now that he went over it in a different mood.

“Proper introductions came later, Souda Kazuichi.”

For a few seconds, he stood there, first looking down at the paper, and then up at a pair of mismatched eyes. He took only the very start of a breath, as the realization hit him.

“Eh?”

One second, two seconds. And, feeling completely swollen up in fear, he took a step back and broke into a sprint, away from Tanaka.

He turned a corner, felt his breath failing him. Before his legs gave out, he was pressed against a wall. A small yelp escaped his throat, even though he didn’t want it to. Did it matter if he said anything anymore? He kept his eyes shut as Tanaka removed his glasses and baseball cap.

“You look quite different today.”

“Why do you care?!” He spat back, his eyes shooting open.

“Because as much as I’d like to understand your behaviour up until this point, your motives remain shrouded in a thick fog. Now speak, before I fell you!”

“I was just passing by, dammit!”

“While in disguise, coincidentally in this one store, in this district? Do you intend to take me for a fool, or do you not hear yourself?”

“I─”

Yeah, no, that really wasn’t a coincidence no matter how you looked at it.

“You gave us a fake name.”

“Well, if you noticed, then why didn’t you call me out on it sooner?!”

Tanaka staggered back.

“Silence!”

Someone was looking at them from a window. Souda didn’t care. He didn’t live there, he knew nobody in the neighbourhood, and he was probably not going to be returning ever with what had just happened.

“Follow me now. I expect answers, and it would be better if you weren’t shouting. We are not far from the lair of the Lady of Darkness. She could be alerted. It would be in your best interests, I assume, to keep her from knowing about you and what you have done today.”

“No. I have nothing to say to you. We ain’t going anywhere.”

“You will unless you want her to know.”

His jaw dropped. Blackmail. It had been a while since he’d faced this old friend of his. But it was also a glimmer of hope. This was a chance to keep this between them and have Lady not find out immediately. With a click of his tongue, he pressed his teeth together in a grimace.

“Lead the way.”

They reached a small soba restaurant. Souda protested as he didn’t have any extra cash with him, but he was pushed in and made to sit down anyway. When it came down to it, he was pretty hungry, and if he didn’t have to pay for it, then he’d settle for Tanaka’s silent and awkward company. Between them was just the sound of the man behind the counter cutting vegetables, the ceiling fan, the pot full of water boiling, and the other three people already in the restaurant chatting away. Tanaka looked for something in his bag. A packet of seeds. He placed a few on his hand for the hamsters to come out of his jacket and start eating.

“Would it be safe to presume you don’t live nearby?” He eventually asked, seemingly a lot calmer now that the little animals were leaving a mess on his thighs.

“You’re right, I don’t.”

“How and why did you end up here?”

“Ugh.” Was he really up for questioning now? The fact that he was left alone with Tanaka now was enough punishment for what he had done, wasn’t it? “I heard you guys talking in the classroom.”

“So?” Tanaka asked with a piercing glare.

“So what?” he snapped back. What more information could one possibly need? He could draw his own conclusions, and he would have to. Souda didn’t want to talk about it. When their food arrived, he shifted his attention to it. It was good. The old man serving it wasn’t precisely pleasant, but he knew what he was doing.

“You were following Sonia.”

This was going to kill his appetite however.

“Well, what else.”

“You are aware she isn’t incredibly fond of you, aren’t you?”

“Yeah? And whose fault is that?” He asked, angrily enough that he drew the attention of the other people in the restaurant. He could help it. He could swear he heard this comment, in various forms, at least once a week. It wasn’t as bad as everyone thought. For instance, she was polite, she always talked to him with a smile in her face, and she was really sweet when he didn't say something idiotic. So what if she didn’t have much to say? That just meant that they didn’t have that much in common, but with one being a mechanic and the other a princess, that was bound to happen. And Souda knew his place, really.

This had all begun when she started hanging out with Tanaka anyway. By now, Souda was fairly sure he was being trash talked behind his back, and that was why sometimes Lady Sonia said some not-so-nice things.

It was all too familiar to him. He was sure that if he was given an honest chance, she would realize that whatever she had been told, wasn’t true, and maybe they wouldn’t be friends, but he’d get a little bit of the fair treatment he thought he deserved. Things had gone alright just now. Clearly, she couldn’t dislike him as much as everyone said.

It was whatever. He’d rather focus on the noodles before they got soggy. What Tanaka was implying wasn’t true, and he could piss off with whatever lies he had been making up. However, it was really hard to enjoy the food when he insisted on talking.

“With the sort of behaviour you exhibited today, I’d think the answer to your question is actually quite clear. You should cease. It only serves to give yourself a bad name, and I find it frankly baffling that you would think that was acceptable. Surely even you can at least acknowledge the Lady of Darkness needs to be surrounded by the void to recuperate, and yet you repeatedly step within the boundaries of her realm.”

“Goddamn, you speak too much...” The last thing he needed was a class in social awareness from a guy who had none of that.

“I still haven’t heard you say a word as to why you were following us.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I’m involved.”

“I was just trying to make sure she’s safe, ok?”

Tanaka stopped eating, mouth half-open, his chopsticks close to his mouth. He put his bowl down, one elbow and a good amount of his weight on the table, his jaw against his fingers, pressing his lips together in what could only be exasperation.

“From what exactly?”

Sighing, Souda found out his tolerance of this conversation could, in fact, grow thinner. Ok. The guy wanted him to be blunt then. In that case, he could be all over his damn face with that bluntness. No shame, no second feelings. Kazuichi pulled Tanaka closer by one of his shoulders. Oh, he obviously hated to be touched. Too bad.

“Do I really need to spell it out? Are you dumb? I thought it was a date. Fucking obvious conclusion…”

And then he pushed Tanaka away. That was it. He was fed up with this guy, and he no longer had an appetite, but since the question now had answer, he decided that he could focus on his bowl and never speak of anything again. A smirk played on his face while Tanaka recovered from his coughing fit.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, come on, really? Why else would I bother?”

Only Tanaka wouldn’t see it coming from light years away. This was the other half of Souda’s reasons not to associate with him. Like he’d work hard to stop being a loser only to associate with one immediately afterwards. He couldn’t keep that sort of company; it’d make him look bad.

“So you did it out of jealously.”

A word that was enough to burst his pride.

“Hey, I’m not─!”

“There’s no need for jealously.” Tanaka interrupted him just in time to notice the old man making soup giving Souda an angry glare. “Whatever you imagined would happen, never will.”

Reconsidering his desire to retort in a manner as explosive as possible, Souda took a second to think through what he had been told and what he would say. He’d become accustomed to simply blurting things out as they came to his head. He wanted to call Tanaka a liar, tell him that everything he'd ever done told a different story, that he was a guy too, and that he wouldn’t be fooled. How to say that in a way that wouldn’t get him started on a long tirade of accusations that'd get them kicked out?

Damn, the food was too good for that.

“Why should I trust you?”

If he had been someone else, he’d probably had been paying enough mind to see the tension in Tanaka's back, as well as the desperate look in his eyes as he frantically searched for an answer. But he only heard a carefully composed answer.

“My interests lie elsewhere. That should be good enough a reason, if you can take my word for it. Mainly, I’m worried about her well-being and comfort, but not in the way you’ve been imagining.”

Tanaka cleared his throat, and switched his attention to his soup, officially calling off the current topic. That much Souda noticed, but he wasn’t going to let it happen so easily. He was salty, and unsure that Tanaka could be trusted.

“She looks pretty damn taken in with you though.”

Such a painful thing to admit out loud. He would have given anything to unhear himself saying that.

“That’s preposterous. She already knows that I─”

Souda waited for Tanaka to continue. It soon became clear he would not.

“That you what?”

“Disregard it.” Tanaka sighed. “It’s not your place to ask. You have lost any privileges with what happened today.”

For the rest of the meal, Souda let Tanaka eat in silence while he joined the group to their right. Friendly people, that lot. It was better than to sit in awkward silence after a conversation neither of them wanted. They left soon enough. And Souda remembered something.

“Hey. Is there a convenience store nearby?”

“If I’m not mistaken, there should be a L**son a little further down this street.”

“Cool. Give me my glasses back, I can’t read shit without them.”

They parted ways shortly after. When Souda checked his pockets to look for the electricity bill he was supposed to pay, he felt the tiny notebook with paw prints. A little reminder of his mistake.

He opened it on a random page while he waited, and found out it had seen some use before he himself had started writing. Tanaka’s phone number and his address were written on the first page. Hongou. He lived close to school. It explained why he didn’t stay in the dorms.

Next day, he almost threw up again on his trip to Hongou, and it only occurred to him that maybe he should have called before dropping by unannounced. It was a nice house, pretty big as well. Someone had a pretty easy life by the looks of it. He rang the bell, hoping all of this hadn’t been in vain.

When Tanaka opened the door, he went from nonchalant, to surprised, to worried in less than two seconds. Looking behind him, he didn’t even let Souda say hello.

“Take off your contacts and that hat right now if you know what’s good for you.”

“Why?” Souda asked, any amusement he might have felt at some point now far gone.

“Tanaka-san, I think I did something wrong!”

They shared a silent beat. With a furious huff, and doing his best to contain himself, he took off his beanie and put it in his bag. Fortunately enough, he’d had no time to dye his bleached hair the day before, and he was carrying the case for his lenses. Unfortunately, he didn’t have his glasses, which made it really hard for him to see anything at all.

Sonia came to the entrance, and soon she was smiling when she saw who it was that was at the door. Her voice was lacking a certain something when she greeted ‘Satou-san,’ but even then, it was obvious she was glad to see this non-existent person.

“What brings you here?”

Souda simply took out the notebook he had brought.

“You could have kept it,” Tanaka said, to which Souda only answered with an eyeful of betrayal. He seemed to take the hint of what Souda was angry about. “The Lady is here to practice her dark arts, as she does not possess the necessary tomes for the incantations she is hoping to perform.”

As if. From the looks of it, Sonia had picked up on Souda’s attitude, as she looked down to the floor nervously, her hands firmly grasped in front of her stomach. She looked at Tanaka, then smiled as Souda like this moment of tension had never happened.

“Tanaka-san, I think it would be best if I just borrowed the books and headed back home. Would you mind?”

“And where does this sudden haste come from?”

“I’m just worried about Kali. I’ll go get ready. Are you not coming in, Satou-san?”

At her insistence, there was nothing they could do that wouldn’t have come off as strange or suspicious, he thought. He walked past Tanaka, barely even looking at him. It was truly a nice house, plenty of space, a stylish design to the staircase. Nobody else seemed to be home, and as much as he tried to not let it get to him, he couldn’t help but let the doubt seep in.

“Sonia, there truly is no need...”

“No, it’s fine!” Now that he looked from a little closer at her, she did look fine. Maybe he had been imagining things, what with his being short sighted. “Have fun, you two. I’ll be seeing you around some other time, I hope.”

She left hurriedly, leaving the two of them sitting in the dining room.

“So you were saying I should take your word for it?” Kazuichi said once the front door closed. Tanaka looked at him for a few seconds, probably wondering what he was on about. Then he remembered.

“I meant it.”

“Really, ‘cause I can barely tell.”

“You’re paranoid.”

“You’re in your house, with a girl who’s pretty damn into you, the two of you alone, and I’m the paranoid one? I don’t care if you say you’re interested in someone else; this is fishy, and as far as I know you’re either lying, or you’re worse guy a than I first thought. So which is it?”

Visibly upset, Tanaka stood up and turned around. Now he wasn’t even looking at him in the eye. Ashamed? Desperate for a way out? Ready to tell Souda to leave and never talk to him again, rub in his face how there was nothing he could do?

“It’s neither. As hard as it might be for you to grasp, it’s not simply a matter of my affections already being some other place. It’s impossible for me to even consider Sonia as a...”

“Bullshit!” He was yelling, not that he cared who heard. A lie like this had to be called out. The world had to know. “I know your type! You’re gonna keep her as a backup plan when things with the other girl don’t work out, right?”

Tanaka looked at him from over his own shoulder, a pained grimace playing on his face. His fists clenched. This might turn into a fight, was the first thing that crossed Souda’s mind. The second was that he wasn’t good at fighting, but if it came to that, he’d go through with it. If he couldn’t warn Lady Sonia, at the very least he’d cause Tanaka some well-deserved trouble.

“You’re speaking nonsense again. There’s no other girl. There won’t ever be one, not even the She-Cat, is that clear?”

“What? Don’t give me that! You said there was someone else!”

“That I did imply, correct.”

“Then...” Who did that leave? Souda’s eyes widened. A guy. It was a guy.

Closing his mouth as soon as he had opened it, he found himself at a loss of words, appropriate feelings, and any type of reaction. Tanaka was obviously waiting for one. Maybe his averting his eyes would be a good enough indicator that none of the sort would happen. He simply didn't know what to say. He'd never been face to face with... It wasn't like he had a problem with it. Everyone had a right to live their lives however they damn well pleased, but he had never thought he'd ever meet one.

Tanaka? Really? He hadn't seemed like the type. Souda could not see him as the type. Yes, he was weird, but that had nothing to do with this. And he could tell that Tanaka wanted to hear that it was alright, but Kazuichi wasn't sure if he was alright with this information. He knew that he had never liked the comments his dad made, but the one time he had tried to get his old man to be a little more understanding, he had done such a bad job, he'd earned himself a gigantic bruise on his left arm.

"Got it," was all he said in the end. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing or not. It didn't make Tanaka look any worse, but it didn't make him look better either.

“If you ever dare speak of this to anyone, I will personally make sure you’re haunted by the spirit of your past deeds every night for the rest of your miserable existence. Now, hand me back my journal. I believe that’s what you ventured here for. Then you may forget about this and leave.”

In silence and slouching, Souda handed Tanaka the journal. He had been expecting for it to be taken forcefully, snatched angrily out of his hands, but Tanaka accepted it defeatedly.

“I appreciate you taking the effort to return this. Some of my clients’ numbers are here. Allow me to escort you on your way out.”

This didn’t sit well with Souda. He couldn’t let Tanaka just slip away without telling him he had no problem with what he’d just said. As much as he had his issues with the guy, he really wouldn’t dare use something so personal as ammunition for a war that probably had never been worth fighting in the first place. There had never been anything to worry about. Tanaka was not a threat. He and Sonia were really just friends then, and he had been reading too much into it. And he knew he probably wouldn't lie about this, because people had a double discourse for these things. Yeah, they said it was fine, but then it happened too close to them, and it wasn't fine any longer. So Kazuichi believed him. The knowledge was a bit of a burden, but he wasn't about to expose someone like this.

There had to be something he could say before opening the front door. Come on. That had been a lot of good useful thoughts right there, and he was saying none of them.

“H-hey...” He muttered when they were a couple steps away from the entrance.

“What is it?”

He hadn’t thought that far. Maybe it would be best if he was sincere about how he felt about all this, even if it made him sound a little like a prick. Maybe Tanaka would understand how hard words could be for Souda.

“It’s really not a big deal. Don’t get like that.”

Tanaka stared at him, with the blankest expression. It was rare to see him drop the overlord act. Up until then, he had consistently kept that sort of aura around him, even when he had, well… Perhaps Souda had said something really bad this time.

“You should be the last person saying that sort of thing,” was his answer.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He failed to recognize the sudden look of nervous determination in Tanaka’s face until it was too late for him to react. Their lips pressed for a brief moment, and Souda found himself frozen in place. His face felt hot, his lungs weren’t working, something had just pushed hard against the front of chest from the inside. The world felt fake for a brief moment, and overwhelmingly real the next. It took him a while to fully process what had just happened.

“Eh?” Was the most coherent thing he could get past his lips. Tanaka opened the front door before he had any time to regain control of his thoughts.

_Why? Seriousy, Tanaka Gundam, why? And, Kazuichi, what are you doing standing around like an idiot? Say something. Do something. Get angry, stop being confused, dammit!_

“You may leave now. I have important matters that require my immediate attention.”

His face flushed red, he didn’t even question it, didn’t even dare to look at Tanaka for more than a split second. He had to get away from there before his heart killed him. He left in a brisk walk, nearly a jog, without looking back and in whatever direction, even it meant getting lost. This was confusing as hell, and at the same time...

What the hell had that been just now?

**Author's Note:**

> I have a weak spot for characters that are so socially inept, that they're clueless as to when they're doing things that are not OK. I hope that showed through.


End file.
